Dick Quote #514

Quote from Dick in Will Work for Dick

Dick: Hold it right there. There's going to be some changes around here, Harry. From now on, your desk will be your girlfriend. Her name will be Lucille. She will be the only woman in your life.
Harry: Dick, I don't like you like this.
Dick: I don't want you to like me because liking leads to loving, and loving leads to reproduction , and nobody reproduces with me! Understood?
Harry: Yes, sir.
Dick: Now get some sleep. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to whip you into shape.
Harry: Okay, but don't touch the face 'cause I'm a pretty man.

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 ‘Will Work for Dick’ Quotes

Quote from Harry

Dick: You'll only have to perform the most basic of tasks. You've sent out mail before.
Harry: Nope.
Dick: Well, you've stapled before.
Harry: I have not.
Dick: Well, surely you've used a paper clip.
Harry: Oh, you mean those cotton things you put in your ears?
Dick: Harry, how many fingers am I holding up?
Harry: Two.
Dick: You're hired.

Quote from Harry

Harry: So, Dick, you know what I overheard at the water cooler?
Dick: What?
Harry: That there's this weird guy hanging around the water cooler.

Quote from Harry

Dick: Harry, get out here. Now! Why is my out box full?
Harry: Because the mail just came in.
Dick: Well, why did you put it in the out box?
Harry: Because it came out of the mail.
Dick: And why is my letter to the Dean in the inbox?
Harry: Uh, well, the Dean won't be back till tomorrow, but once he's in, the in goes out.
Dick: Harry, things in the out box are going out.
Harry: Well, why don't we just get one big box? That way we'll put everything in there. I mean, that's 50% less box.
Dick: That's not how it's done. Harry, anyone with half a brain could do this job. What is your problem?
Harry: Dick?
Dick: Yes.
Harry: Talk to the hand.