TV Quotes

Harry: Dick? I can't see through my eyelids.
Sally: Open them.
Harry: Oh! They're manual.

Mary: What is my thesis doing out of my desk?
Dick: I took it out.
Mary: My desk was locked.
Dick: Which made it very difficult to open. You might want to make a note of that.
Mary: You read it?
Dick: Read it? I memorized it.
Mary: Well, it's just a few thoughts.
Dick: A few brilliant thoughts.
Mary: Really? Well, that's quite a compliment coming from someone with your credentials. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Dick: Enjoyed it? It's the funniest thing I've ever read. Your theory on "man and the animal within," it's hilarious. Nina said you had no sense of humor. She is so wrong. The conclusions that you draw are laugh-out-loud funny. [laughs]

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Dick: I'm done. How do I look?
[Dick removes the hair cap to revealed his freshly-dyed jet black hair]
Sally: Um, Dick, um... Okay, if somebody were helping you with an experiment and things went awry and you became horribly disfigured, you wouldn't hold it against them, now would you?
Dick: Why? What happened?
Sally: Nothing. Destroy all the mirrors now!
Dick: No, no! I've got to see! [holds up a hand mirror] Oh, my God! I'm gorgeous!