Dick Quote #5
Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.
Quote from Harry
Harry: Dick? I can't see through my eyelids.
Sally: Open them.
Harry: Oh! They're manual.
Quote from Dick
Dick: Someone else. Yes, Leon. Well, come on, Leon. Speak up.
Leon: No, never mind. I had this idea, but it's wrong.
Dick: Oh, Leon, of course it's wrong. I mean, the odds against your being right are staggering! You have a great advantage. You know the outcome. You will be wrong. Don't fear it. Embrace your wrongness. Leon, how far away is Cleveland?
Leon: Cleveland is an eternity away if your heart is there.
Dick: Leon, that is so provocative. Where Cleveland equals "p" and eternity equals "q," transposing the logarithm of the heart, where the heart is an unknown, we find that we are forever in Cleveland. No, I'm sorry, Leon. You're wrong.
Quote from Dick
Mary: What is my thesis doing out of my desk?
Dick: I took it out.
Mary: My desk was locked.
Dick: Which made it very difficult to open. You might want to make a note of that.
Mary: You read it?
Dick: Read it? I memorized it.
Mary: Well, it's just a few thoughts.
Dick: A few brilliant thoughts.
Mary: Really? Well, that's quite a compliment coming from someone with your credentials. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Dick: Enjoyed it? It's the funniest thing I've ever read. Your theory on "man and the animal within," it's hilarious. Nina said you had no sense of humor. She is so wrong. The conclusions that you draw are laugh-out-loud funny. [laughs]
Quote from Fear and Loathing in Rutherford
Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.
Quote from Dick's First Birthday
Dick: I'm done. How do I look?
[Dick removes the hair cap to revealed his freshly-dyed jet black hair]
Sally: Um, Dick, um... Okay, if somebody were helping you with an experiment and things went awry and you became horribly disfigured, you wouldn't hold it against them, now would you?
Dick: Why? What happened?
Sally: Nothing. Destroy all the mirrors now!
Dick: No, no! I've got to see! [holds up a hand mirror] Oh, my God! I'm gorgeous!
Quote from The Thing That Wouldn't Die: Part One
Dick: Where am I? And what's going on?
Mary: You lied so much, you passed out.
Dick: Mary, it's true. I'm the High Commander of an exploratory mission that came to Earth six years ago to study mankind.
Mary: Does your family know about this?
Dick: We're not a family. We're a unit. Tommy is the information officer. Sally is the security officer. And Harry has an enormous transmitter in his head.
Mary: Oh, that's impossible! Except for the Harry part.
Dick: Open your mind. Think about everything you don't know about me. And then think about everything you do know. Think about how every single time something happens, it's like I'm learning it for the first time... like a child. Mary, think about our entire six year relationship knowing that I'm an alien.
Mary: [smiles] [looks horrified] [looks angry] [looks sad] [smiles] You are an alien.
Mary: Why didn't I see this before?
Dick: Because you're only human.