Don Quote #148

Quote from Don in There's No Business Like Dick Business

Don: Mary, this a composite sketch of your assailant, based on all the eyewitness accounts.
Mary: Why is his head so big? Why is he holding a tennis racquet?
Don: Well, the department can't afford a full-time sketch artist, so we had the caricature guy from the birthday party do it.
Sally: He also did a great one of Don as a cowboy.
Don: Yeah.


 ‘There's No Business Like Dick Business’ Quotes

Quote from Judith

Mary: I'm really excited about this class. I think learning self-defense will come in handy.
Judith: Indeed, Mary. I am so tired of going to the bars and being groped by every straight man in Rutherford.

Quote from Don

Mary: Harry, we've been out here for two hours. What are we doing?
Harry: I told you, Albright. We're taking back the park.
Judith: From whom?
Harry: From him. That's the guy who stole Albright's purse.
Mary: Really?
Don: I don't know, Mary. He's not carrying a tennis racket and his head's a normal size.

 Don Orville Quotes

Quote from Assault with a Deadly Dick

Harry: Well, Officer Don, we're here to report a crime.
Sally: I blame myself. I dropped my guard.
Don: It's not your fault. Crime happens. On the surface, Rutherford may look like small town America, but just beneath the well-manicured lawns lies a hotbed of criminal activity. We may be in the shadow of Cleveland, but it's in the shadows where evil lurks.

Quote from Romeo & Juliet & Dick

Sally: Hey, guys. Oh, you still watching that stuff?
Dick: It's not "stuff," it's Hamlet.
Sally: Yeah, but why do they have to talk that way? I mean, I can't follow the story.
Don: Hamlet? The story is as old as time. Pretty-boy son has a rich daddy and a good-looking mommy. The uncle knocks off daddy, marries mommy, and he cuts pretty boy out of the action. So junior goes crazy and he kills them all. Not a pretty story, but there it is.
Tommy: Isn't that the plot to The Lion King?
Dick: Oh, please!