‘Pickles and Ice Cream’
Season 3, Episode 16 - Aired January 28, 1998
After Sally visits a gynecologist, she decides to experience life as a pregnant woman. Meanwhile, Harry's pet dog from their home planet visits.
Quote from Sally
Dick: Well, I order you to get pregnant.
Sally: You can't order me to get pregnant. This is my body. I picked it out. Is that understood?
Dick: But, Lieutenant-
Sally: No, look, Dick, pregnancy is a great thing. It really is. There's just one problem with being pregnant... the baby comes out! It doesn't just stay in there. It comes out!
Dick: Oh, and that part must be painful.
Sally: Oh, no, it's not the pain, Dick. I can take the pain. It's the responsibility. When I saw that tiny, scared little thing, I realized something... A baby's forever. I just don't think I can handle that kind of responsibility. Hell, I have enough trouble taking care of Harry.
Quote from Dick
Harry: Dick, do you think that someday, when I'm ready, maybe I can have an earth pet?
Dick: Sure, Harry.
Sally: Dick, do you think someday, when I'm ready, I could have a baby of my own?
Dick: Of course, Sally.
Tommy: Hey, Dick, do you think when he has a pet and she has a baby, I could get an apartment across town?
Dick: Absolutely, Tommy. Make it a 2-bedroom.
Quote from Harry
Harry: Oh, now ya done it. You went and got the Hulk mad.
Tommy: And when Hulk get mad, Hulk get strong.
Harry: Yep.
Quote from Dick
Sally: How could he have tracked Harry down across 3 billion galaxies?
Dick: They have a pretty good sense of smell.
Sally: But why did he take on human form?
Tommy: Yeah. He really should be some kind of lower life like a duck or a scallop or something.
Dick: He didn't know any better. He's just a pet.
Quote from Sally
Dr. Harris: So, what brings you here today?
Sally: I'm the woman.
Dr. Harris: Okay, then. We can begin. Just lie back and relax.
[After a punching sound, Sally walks out to the reception]
Sally: I would like to see another doctor. One who can keep his hands to himself.
Quote from Tommy
Don: Boys. Don Orville.
Harry: Go on, Pickles. Give him your hand. Shake. Shake.
Don: Why do they call you "Pickles"?
Tommy: Uh, why do they call the captain of the football team "sausage"? You know, we don't ask questions.
Quote from Don
Don: Where's Sally?
Tommy: Oh, uh, Sally went to the gynecologist.
Don: Oh. Nice work if you can get it.
Quote from Tommy
Harry: Uh, let's go for a walk, Pickles. Walk.
Tommy: Harry, Harry. Bring a plastic bag. You don't want to get another fine.
Quote from Don
Dick: So, Don, what brings you around?
Don: Sally's... problem.
Dick: Oh, it's no big deal. It's just gonna cost me a lot of money, that's all.
Don: Do you know who's responsible?
Dick: Of course. Harry watched the whole thing happen.
Don: He did?
Dick: His best friend did it.
Don: Not Pickles!
Dick: That's the one.
Don: Oh, I knew there was something about that guy! Where is he now?
Dick: Oh, I don't know. I confronted him, and he ran away.
Quote from Don
Mary: Good morning.
Nina: You will not believe what Dr. Solomon just told me about his sister.
Mary: I don't want to hear about her. I don't want to hear about him. I don't have to care about his lunatic family.
Nina: Sally's pregnant.
Mary: Oh, my God! Is this true?
Don: Yes, it is.
Mary: Is it yours?
Don: No! Well, it could be. But it's not. But it... could be.
Mary: And to think he asked a pregnant woman to rotate his tires. That insensitive jerk!
Nina: That is so cold.
Mary: She must be so scared.
Don: I can't imagine what it's like to be alone and... pregnant. [sobbing uncontrollably]