Mary: Is your harness secure?
Dick: Not especially. And that's the way I like it. One of the thrills of climbing is never knowing when your gear is going to crap out.
Mary: Dick, the other group is over there. Why are we going this way?
Dick: No, we're leaving the pack behind. Cat's Eye peak awaits.
Mary: You know, the whole point of these faculty outings is not really an intense climb, more like a brisk walk followed by a nice, long happy hour. This could be dangerous.
Dick: Yes, but, Mary, I have to perch on the teeth of death in order to stare down onto the tonsils of enlightenment.
Mary: [chuckles] What, do you have some kind of death wish?
Dick: Actually, it's more of a near-death wish, but if we rule out death, I really think it undercuts the experience, you know.
Mary: Oh, my God. I'm climbing a mountain tied to a suicidal maniac! Help me! Help me!
Dick: Mary! Mary! Please, Mary! Help me! Help me! [covers Mary's mouth] Remember what Judith said. Any loud noise can cause an avalanche. [yodels]

Mary: Look, Dick, I- I don't care what you do. You can skydive, bungee-jump, go over Niagara falls on a pogo stick for all I care. Just don't drag me along.
Dick: I would think you'd be a little more grateful, Mary. I wanted you to share my experience.
Mary: Thank you. Thank you for the gift of death.
Dick: It's the thought that counts.

Tommy: Yeah, okay, but the point is that every time I see you, it could be the last time. You know, every kiss could be our last kiss.
Alissa: Tommy, did a rat bite you?
Tommy: Alissa Strudwick... will you marry me?
Alissa: Shut up.
Tommy: No. Marry me.
Alissa: No, get up off the floor.
Tommy: Okay, well, if we're gonna get married, you're gonna have to stop bossing me around.
Alissa: Shut up!

Dick: What are you guys doing on the roof at 3:00 in the morning?
Tommy: What are we doing, Dick? We're living.
Sally: Yeah.
Dick: At 3 a.m., you should be sleeping.
Harry: Oh, we've been asleep for years. We're finally awake.
Sally: You know, we were almost killed tonight, Dick.
Dick: What? That's awful!
Sally: Oh, no, no, no. It is so wonderful. Do you remember when we first landed and everything seemed so fresh and new and alive? Well, that's how we feel right now.

Tommy: Oh, wow. Look at those lights.
Harry: Ooh.
Tommy: I feel like they're piercing my soul.
Sally: Oh, yeah.
Dick: The flashing lights around the big liquor mart sign?
Harry: Lights that insist on shining even in the dark of night.
Dick: Directing you to buy discount liquor?

Harry: Ooh, whoa! I just realized something. We're all wearing shirts. How great is that?
Sally: Ooh, my blue looks pretty in the moonlight.
Tommy: Who came up with shirts?
Dick: But they're just shirts. We always wear shirts.
Sally: Remember when we were that blind?
Tommy: How sad.

Harry: Sally, listen up. If poor folks and losers are your bag, then go out there and help 'em. Follow your dream.
Sally: I-I've never heard you talk like this, Harry.
Harry: Harry? Ah, Harry let other people define him. Harry let other people tell Harry who Harry was. Well, a chandelier fell on Harry. Harry's dead.
Tommy: Then who are you?
Harry: Me? I'm A.J.
Sally: It's nice to meet you, A.J.

Dick: Hey, guys. Hey, hey, hey, guys. I- I can't find joy in this paper clip. I'm not missing anything, am I?
Sally: [gasps] So little but so much. It's beautiful.
Dick: Oh, God. What is it? I don't get it. What am I not seeing?

Alissa: Hello.
Tommy: Alissa, hey.
Alissa: Hi. [Tommy grabs Alissa's face] Oh! Did you wash your hands?
Tommy: Oh, it's so good to see you.
Alissa: Yeah, it's good to see you, too.
Tommy: I love you so much. Come with me. There's a crotch I want to show you.

Don: So, uh, you volunteering, too, Harry?
Harry: The name's A.J.
Don: No, it's not.
Harry: Yes, it is. I know who I am. You know who you are?
Don: I'm Don.
Harry: Well, if you think you're Don, you will be Don.
Don: I know I'm Don.
Harry: Well, there you go.