Nina: Hmm, I can't believe how good you look. You still playing racquetball?
Jeff: Every day. Ooh! I love it!
Dick: I love it more!
Nina: You don't play racquetball.
Dick: Oh... [chuckles]. [opens door] Poor, sweet, misguided, amnesiac Nina, of course I do. [pushes Nina through the door and slams it shut]
Jeff: I've got some time to kill. I'd love to play.
Dick: I've got some time to play I'd love to kill. [both chuckle]

Dick: I won! I won! I won, I won, I won, I won, I won! Did you hear the news? I won.
Jeff: Congratulations, Dick.
Dick: Oh, that was so easy. You offered me no challenge at all.
Jeff: Yeah, I was kind of off my game.
Dick: Off your game? You played like a little girl. [chuckles] Too bad Mary wasn't here to see it.
Jeff: That reminds me, I gotta run. I'm meeting her for lunch. [exits]
Dick: Well, I hope you two girls have fun.

Dick: Lieutenant, get out here. I have a new assignment for you.
Sally: Yes? Finally.
Dick: I want you to find out what makes a man so irresistible that a woman has no interest in any other man.
Sally: [sighs] That's still a chick job.
Dick: Yes, but it's also a chick job to help the High Commander score.

Sally: You two were here last night. [the couple in the next car keep kissing] Miss? Miss! You're obviously in some sort of relationship. Why'd you pick this guy?
Man: What's that supposed to mean?
Sally: Hey, I'm talking to the lady. He's not terribly attractive. He's got bad taste in clothes. And even I can tell he doesn't know what he's doing.
Woman: I wouldn't say-
Sally: Ah! It's the car, isn't it?
Woman: No! [quietly] Yes, it's the car.
Sally: Thank you.

Mary: Well, it's the thought that counts. This must have been very expensive.
Dick: So you like expensive things?
Mary: No. Some of my favorite things in life cost nothing. A picnic on a sunny day, a lovely poem read aloud, watching my friends fail.
Dick: Well, I have a marvelous idea. I'll write a poem about your friends failing and read it to you aloud on a sunny picnic.

Sally: "Women Who Run with the Wolves," "Women who Love Too Much," "Women Who Love Too Fast," "Women Who Love to Read About Women who Love Too Much and Too Fast."

Sally: Excuse me. You two have been together, what, 100, 150 years?
Woman: 42 this April.
Sally: 42 years. Impressive. You must have known he was something really special, huh?
Woman: Oh, yes.
Sally: Tell me, why'd you pick him?
Woman: Well, he was very sweet and affectionate. He had a real flair for romance.
Sally: It was the car, wasn't it?
Woman: That was the clincher.

Dick: Excuse me, I'm looking for Jeff Willis.
Man: He's with his publicist. He'll be out shortly. Are you a friend?
Dick: Yes. I'm very close to the steaming pustule.

Tommy: Harry, I've solved your problem. This young lady needs a dog for her little girl.
Woman: Oh, he's perfect.
Harry: Oh, no. Scruffy's not about to ruin his life by running off with some blonde he met at a cocktail party.

Dick: Dr. Albright, please? You don't know how important this hug is to me. It would give my life a degree of meaning that I've only dreamed of.
Mary: All right. [backs away] No, I can't hug under this pressure.
Dick: Try. [they hug] There. That's all I was asking for. I want to have your baby.