‘Dickmalion’
Season 2, Episode 20 - Aired April 13, 1997
Dick is introduced to the elites of Rutherford as Mary tries to climb the social ladder and impress some country club folk. Meanwhile, Tommy falls in with a bad crowd at school.
Quote from Dick
Mr. St. Clair: 500.
Dick: [refined accent] That much? I'm afraid you were taken, my friend.
Mr. St. Clair: Was I?
Dick: Yes, I only paid $20.00 for mine, and it's a Rolex, too. The trick is to buy it straight off the truck. No overhead.
Quote from Dick
Mr. St. Clair: May I have your attention, please? Dickie has just informed me about something, and I think everyone should hear it.
Dick: Thank you, Eggie. [refined accent] I don't mean to panic anyone, but I'm afraid the calamari is infested with baby squid!
Mary: Dick, suddenly I'm not feeling very well.
Dick: [normal voice] Mary, you didn't eat the calamari, did you?
Mary: Yes, that's it.
Dick: We've got to get you out of here! Harry, Sally, bring the car around. [refined accent] I'm sorry, boys, got to amscray. Ta-Ta.
Quote from Mary
Mr. St. Clair: Mary, you're spoiling our fun.
Mary: You know, if I were you, and had your money, the first thing I'd do is hire a good surgeon to have that huge cob removed from my butt. You may have your little clubhouse, but none of you is truly happy.
Mr. St. Clair: Actually, we are.
Mary: Well, then... some of you are fat.
Quote from Mary
Dick: Oh, Mary, what a wonderful evening that was. The ambiance, the people, the repartee...
Mary: I hated it.
Dick: Oh, wasn't it dreadful?
Mary: I thought you were having such a good time.
Dick: Oh, Mary, I wanted to stick a chilled salad fork into my eye.
Mary: I don't know what I ever saw in those people. I guess I spent so much time trying to impress them that I never stopped to realize that they weren't worth impressing.
Dick: You're worth impressing, Mary.
Mary: Thank you.