Dick: Oh, good morning, Nina. Say, I have a 2-for-1 dinner coupon at Cafe De boeuf. That's French for "cafe of beef". And Mary refuses to come.
Mary: We've been four times this week.
Dick: So how does 7:00 sound?
Nina: Sorry, Dr. Solomon. I'm busy.
Dick: No. Let me explain. If I buy a steak dinner, you get one for free. And then when the garcon turns his back, you can just slip me a few bucks under the table.
Nina: That's very generous of you, but I have a meeting of the Black Student Union.
Dick: Nina, this coupon expires tonight. You'll still be Black tomorrow.
Nina: That's true, but I'm gonna have to pass.
Dick: But- I'll tell you what. I'll come to the meeting, and then we can go grab some half-priced boeuf.
Nina: Dr. Solomon, I don't think you'd get a lot out of it. The meeting's a discussion group for Black members of the Pendelton community.
Dick: Sort of like Weight Watchers?
Nina: I'll be in my office.

Mary: Dick, I've been through this white guilt thing, too.
Dick: White guilt?
Mary: Oh, yeah. As a matter of fact, one of my ancestors was a proponent of slavery.
Dick: Who?
Mary: Well, actually... my mom.
Dick: How do you live with yourself?
Mary: She's not me, and I've learned by observing her behavior that we have the power to do whatever we want. We have the power to make changes in society.
Dick: We do?
Mary: Absolutely. So stop feeling guilty and do something. After all, it's not like you picked the color of your skin, right?

Dick: [sings] Nina Campbell...
Nina: What do you want?!
Dick: Tell me I can be good. Tell me, Nina! Tell me I can be good.
Nina: I suppose.
Dick: Nina, tell me. Tell me you're my friend.
Nina: I'm your friend.
Dick: Yeah, we're all friends here. Tell me you love me.
Choir: [continues singing] Dick Solomon, you can be good
Dick: Come on, tell me.
Choir: Dick Solomon, you can be good
Dick: Tell me I'm your savior! [choir falls silent]
Nina: Good night, reverend.
Dick: [talks] Okay, that was just a little too much. [runs out] Nina! Nina!

Dick: I don't get it. Why won't she admit that the Black Student Union is just a blatant ripoff of Weight Watchers?
Mary: Because it's not! Dick, you've got to accept the fact there are certain things in life you will never understand.
Dick: Oh, I accept that. But what are they and why won't I understand them?!

Tommy: Okay, so what rhymes with racism?
Sally: Weigh station!
All: Yeah!
Alissa: Uh, that doesn't rhyme.
Sally: Yes, it does.
Tommy: Okay, you know what rhymes with weigh station? Playstation.
Harry: That's it!
Sally: Yeah, but, you guys, we already rhymed weigh station with racism.
Alissa: They don't rhyme.
Tommy: Playstation and weigh station rhyme better.
Harry: Yeah, and that way we can avoid the whole racism thing. It's such a downer.

Sally: Hey, Harry, how was the library?
Harry: You are looking at a free man. I returned the book, paid the $14 in late fees, checked it right back out again. Oh, but get this. The library is having a poetry contest, and the topic is "If I could change the world." Isn't that perfect for us?
Tommy: Yeah, sure. We've got a keen third-party observer perspective. Too bad poetry's stupid.
Sally: I don't think it's stupid. I think it's boring.
Harry: The sign said there would be prizes.
Sally: Prizes? You mean like a trip to Hawaii?
Tommy: Or like a dune buggy?
Harry: Hey, it's the public library! Sky's the limit!
Tommy: I'm in.
Sally: In.
Harry: In.

Dick: Listen, I've got to talk to Caryn, so if you guys wouldn't mind hitting the bricks. [Bug and Leon leave] Did you happen to go to the Black Student Union meeting last night?
Caryn: Oh, yeah, I went.
Dick: Did you happen to take any notes or photos? You know how important those meetings are to me.
Caryn: Yeah. Um, Dr. Solomon, you're not Black.
Dick: Well, how Black do you have to be? I mean, you're a milky cocoa at best.
Caryn: This isn't really about color. I should have just said African-American.
Dick: Well, what happened at the meeting? Tell me.
Caryn: Yeah, I'm leaving now.
Dick: I'll tell you what happened on The Jeffersons last night. Weezy almost started a fire. Oh, oh, and they changed Lionels.

Tommy: If I could change the world, I'd have every swimming pool have a shallow end, a deep end, and an unbelievably deep end.
Sally: That is excellent.
Harry: Yeah.

Dick: You know what? I've been thinking, we should all attend the next Black Student Union meeting.
Tommy: Whatever.
Harry: Okay.
Sally: Well, maybe there's, like, a White one we could go to.
Dick: You think?
Tommy: Why not?
Dick: Bartender, excuse me, are there any White support groups in this area?
Bartender: You mean like those White Power guys who meet out in Hendersonville?
Dick: White Power. That sounds uplifting. Yeah. Thank you, my White brother. We'll have two orders of buffalo wings, please.
Bartender: You people disgust me.
Dick: All right, make that one order of wings and one mozzarella sticks.

Sally: Anyway, it sounds like fun.
Dick: Yeah. White people playing white games.
Tommy: Having white discussions.
Harry: Yeah, where do White people go for really good pizza?
Dick: I'd be interested to know.
Sally: Hey, you think Barry White will sing?
Dick: Why wouldn't he?