‘Dick Solomon's Day Off’
Season 5, Episode 20 - Aired May 16, 2000
Dick discovers sick days and realizes you can take one without actually being ill. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy snoop on their neighbors with Don's police scanner.
Quote from Harry
Sally: Hey, you guys, look at this. Don left his little radio here last night.
Harry: Oh, cool. 1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, be on the lookout for a bad guy named Adam, who's 12.
Quote from Harry
Tommy: This guy's classic.
Harry: Yeah, she's too good for him. He needs a good ass-kissing. Kicking. Yes, kicking.
Quote from Sally
Sally: So, that's Andrea.
Harry: Wow, she's so beautiful.
Tommy: She sounded heavier to me.
Sally: Well, you know, they say the scanner adds, like, eight pounds.
Quote from Harry
Harry: Hi. I had a little ice-cream situation. You think Frankie can handle it?
Andrea: Oh. I guess.
Harry: Yeah, he's the best. You know, he once got a peanut butter stain out of my cummerbund. That was a cheap wedding. Wow, you look so pretty when you laugh. I mean, so do I.
Quote from Sally
Tommy: I can't believe Harry is talking to the Andrea.
Sally: I can't believe Frankie had his picture taken with Englebert Humperdinck.
Quote from Harry
Tommy: Hey, guys, is anything going on?
Harry: Yeah, Andrea just told her mother that she met this great new guy, and she's calling him right now.
Tommy: Cool. [telephone rings on scanner] [telephone rings] Well, should I answer it?
Sally: No, just let it ring. Come on, pick it up, pick it up! [ring] [ring]
Tommy: Why do people always call when something good is on?
Harry: It's just, like, rude, is what it is. [ring] [ring]
Sally: Just pick it up!
Harry: Gosh, I can't take this. I can't concentrate. I'm gonna go answer it, okay?
Quote from Sally
Sally: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This show has really gone downhill since Harry was introduced.
Tommy: Yeah. They need conflict. Where's the conflict?
Sally: You know, it's gotten so boring, I'm actually thinking about reading a book.
Tommy: What?!
Harry: [enters] Hey, you guys, guess what? I've got a lunch date with her tomorrow.
Sally: We know. We know.
Tommy: Say, Harry, you know what would make that lunch date really interesting? Show up stinking of booze.
Sally: Yes! I can practically hear her crying to her girlfriend. Now, that's entertainment! Uh-huh.
Harry: No, I don't play those games. I'm gonna treat her right.
Sally: Hey, what about us?
Tommy: We're your audience! You selfish bastard!
Quote from Dick
Mary: I'm sorry, Dick. I've got to go.
Dick: You're gonna lose me, Mary! A good-looking man alone in the streets with an empty rickshaw-- you're gonna lose me! I've lost her.
Quote from Harry
Sally: Too bad things didn't work out with you and Andrea.
Harry: Women. They say they want honesty in a relationship, but they don't want to know when you've been eavesdropping on them.
Tommy: They want it both ways.
Sally: Yeah, we make me sick.