Vicki Dubcek: Harry, know what? I believe that I was put on this earth to help people. And one day eventually I'd like to become a saint. Harry, could you pull my pans down? They're right over there. [Harry gets up and gets two pans] Thank you. Isn't it nice that we get a chance to visit? Oh. I need some sugar.
Harry: Baby, I'll give you some sugar. It's right over here.
Vicki Dubcek: You know, we get a chance to talk about each other's dreams and our interests without the distraction of sex. Ugh. Somebody told me that was a good thing.
Harry: Yeah. Like to kill that person.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, Harry, you know what? In my massage class, I've been learning all about crystals.
Harry: Crystals?
Vicki Dubcek: Yeah. Look at this. Now, see, these 2 things are called trouble stones. Take them. And you put them right on the part of your body that feels tense.
Harry: Ironic that they're blue.

Dick: The physics of fluid dynamics works on a cellular level as well. High pressure liquids travel freely and without effort, while low pressure liquids are not so lucky. Oh, no. No! They're forced to struggle through a totally inconvenient membrane, all the way around to the south side of the damn mitochondria.
Leon: Am I the only one who senses an analogy here?
Dick: There's no ramp on my side of Hoff Hall, and I think there should be.
Caryn: Dr. Solomon?
Dick: Oh, here we go. Let's hear all the reasons why I'm wrong, inconsiderate, bullheaded, racist-
Caryn: Actually, Dr. Solomon, I agree with you.
Dick: You do?
Caryn: Yes, I think that people in wheelchairs should have the same rights as everybody else.
Dick: Oh, thank you, Caryn. You're so right. They deserve a ramp on the north side of Hoff Hall.

Don: You, in. You, in. You... uh-uh. Bye-bye. In. You're in. Go home.
Sally: Don? What are you doing here?
Don: Just because I'm a cop by day doesn't mean I can't sin at night.
Sally: Well, how do you sin?
Don: I'm the gatekeeper of the Sin Drome. That's the name of the club.
Sally: Oh, so you're a bouncer.
Don: You want in or not?
Sally: Yeah.

Don: Hold it, squirt.
Tommy: What? I'm not dressed cool enough?
Don: You're 16. You have to be 21 to get into the Sin Drome. That's Sin Drome policy.
Tommy: Ah. So I am dressed cool enough.
Don: No.

Tommy: Hey, wait, wait a minute. What is this? "Anatoly Chubais"? That's not my name.
Romano: It doesn't matter.
Tommy: But I don't look like I'm from Guam.
Elman: Yes, you do.
Romano: You really do.
Elman: I have a cousin from Guam. You look more Guamish than he does, and you're not even from there.

Dick: No, no. All I need now is the final approval of Susan Billnitzer, the campus engineer, and voila... ramp.
Sally: I thought you said they didn't have the money to do this.
Dick: Uh, they didn't. So they decided not to build the daycare center.
Harry: Oh, what are the kids gonna do?
Dick: They can play on the ramp. You know... kids love slanty things. I know I do.

Mrs. Dubcek: Hi, hi, hi! Who's ready to go shake their groove thang?
Vicki Dubcek: Mama, please don't talk.

Vicki Dubcek: Dick, why don't you let me give you a massage? Your muscles are just gonna atrophy. Now, I could give you a nice deep-tissue rolfing or maybe a light shiatsu?
Dick: Oh, no, thanks. I've already eaten.

Sally: Why aren't you at the big ramp dedication? Everybody's waiting for you.
Dick: Oh, Sally, I was so wrong about this ramp. And now I need you to help me come up with a reason why it wasn't my fault.
Sally: Well, have you thought about taking responsibility, or is that just out?
Dick: Oh. Every day of my life, I'm right and people think I'm wrong. And now when I'm wrong, there's no one around to call me an idiot. Where are all my critics?
Sally: Well, Tommy's at school, Harry's with Vicki, but, for what it's worth, I think you're an idiot.
Dick: Thank you, Sally. Don't tell the others, but you're my favorite.

Tommy: [deep voice] Hello. I'm an adult of legal age, and I've come to patronize your establishment.
Don: All right. Go on in.
Tommy: [regular voice] Oh, cool. [runs in and back out] There's no one in there.
Don: The Sin Drome is out.
Tommy: It's out?
Don: Yeah, it used to be in, but now it's out. You should have seen it in its heyday.
Tommy: Well, God knows, I tried to!