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Season 3, Episode 4 -  Aired October 15, 1997

Dick accompanies Mary on a trip to see her parents, George (George Grizzard) and Martha (Elaine Stritch), who still think the pair are together. Meanwhile, Dick volunteers Sally, Harry and Tommy to help Nina move out of her apartment.

Quote from Dick

Mary: Well, my parents and I have been talking since the little blowup in the hot tub, and I think we've made some progress.
Dick: Progress? Are they getting a divorce?
Mary: Divorce? They've been married for 46 years.
Dick: Yes, but 46 horrible years.
Mary: Well, sure they've had their ups and downs, but it's only made them stronger. That's what marriage is.
Dick: Oh, my God, they've brainwashed you. Now you're one of them.


Quote from Sally

Dick: So how did the move go?
Tommy: Well, the first one went pretty smooth, but the second one was a bitch.
Harry: We had a good rhythm going for the third move, but the fourth and fifth moves were just hell.
Sally: Wussies. You know, I really dodged a bullet today, Dick. To think I was this close to moving in with Nina. Hah. She's not nearly sophisticated enough for me.

Quote from Dick

Dick: I dodged a bullet, too. I thought marriage was a beautiful union of two souls. It turns out it's a hot, bubbling, chlorinated sea of lies, betrayals, and addictions, and I don't want to go there.
Harry: Well, I'll go. That sounds relaxing.
Dick: No. From now on, we're footloose and fancy-free. From this day forward, people will refer to me as a lifelong bachelor.
Harry: You're not gonna start wearing pastel cardigans and open up an antique store, are you?
Dick: Whatever gets me the ladies.
Sally: Yeah, Dick, you'll do great.

Quote from Mary

Martha Albright: George, there's something I have to tell you.
George Albright: I'm listening.
Martha Albright: You're not Mary's father.
George Albright: I've suspected that for a long time, Martha. Does she know?
Martha Albright: Oh, don't be silly. Of course not.
George Albright: Good. Next time they visit.

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