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Quote from Dick in Dick Solomon's Day Off

Dick: What if I were to call in sick?
Sally: But you're not.
Dick: I know.
Harry: You've gone mad.
Dick: But it would be so easy.
Tommy: Dick, if it were so easy, don't you think somebody would have tried it already?
Dick: Look, someone had to be the first person to turn a corncob into a pipe.
Sally: Taking a sick day when you're not really sick? Sounds like a crime to me.
Dick: It's not a crime. It's the crime of the century.
Harry: That's brilliant! Turning a corncob into a pipe!

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