Mary: What are you doing?
Dick: I'm just taking the little extra money you always leave for me.
Mary: Oh, my God! No wonder we're treated like crap everywhere we go. How can you be so cheap?
Dick: I- I'm not cheap.
Mary: Then put the tip back on the table.
Dick: The what?
Mary: The tip. It was $10. Put it back.
Dick: Uh, of course. The tip.
Waitress: Good night. Thank you.
Dick: Oh! Mary! That waitress just stole our tip!