Dick: Well, old face, this is the last time I'll be seeing you. I'd say good-bye, but good riddance is more like it. [chuckles] Look at this forehead. All mottled and wrinkled from years of tortured thoughts and and gentle ruminations. I'm certainly not going to miss that. Or this chin, for that matter, all scratched and scarred from shaving in a rush so often, trying to get to work on time or... or to Mary's house to pick her up for a date. I remember this one. I was rushing off to take her on a picnic. It started to rain, so we had to eat wet tuna sandwiches in an outhouse. That was so nice. So, good-bye, old chin. You'll be facing the laser soon. And good-bye to you, old nose. And take care, old ears. And you, too, old lips. And take care of yourselves... eyes. Oh, my God. What am I doing?
Dr. Lasker: All right, Dick, we're ready for you now.
Dick: Well, we're not ready for you!
Dr. Lasker: What?
Dick: I'm not gonna change this face! This face is a scrapbook dedicated to who I am, damn it! And, by God, I'm gorgeous!
Dr. Lasker: No, you're not.
Dick: Screw you!