Tommy: Great news. I am now the coolest punk in school.
Dick: Well, congratulations! What did you do?
Tommy: I got suspended for setting off the fire alarm.
Dick: They suspended you for that?! You saved hundreds of lives!
Tommy: No, no, no. That's the best part. There was no fire.
Dick: Tommy, this is outrageous! The next time you set off a fire alarm, you damn well better start a fire first!
Tommy: I can never do anything right for you, now can I?