Dick: Plus, it's bad enough there was a giant papier-mache rodent blocking my parking spot this morning.
Mary: You mean Pendelton J. Badger.
Dick: What does the "J" stand for?
Nina: Nothing.
Dick: Nothing starts with "N."
Mary: It's just a kooky initial.
Dick: "Q" is kookier. Why isn't it Pendelton Q. Badger?
Mary: I don't know. Why don't you ask him? Anyway, I got us great seats. [Dick groans] Oh, it's not just a sporting event. It's a long-standing tradition, Pendelton versus Ohio Western.
Dick: You know, if you really want to defeat them, the secret is right in front of you. The giant badger. It's a Trojan float. Load our team in. We push it up to their school walls. And they say, "Look. A friendly giant badger. Let's bring it inside." Later, that night, they fall asleep, and whammo! It could work.
Mary: It's not very sportsmanlike.
Dick: Well, I'll admit it doesn't involve any dancing or homoerotic butt-slapping. Although, you never know what goes on inside a giant badger.