Tommy: Well, uh, you could put an ad in the personals. You just describe yourself and the kind of woman you want to meet.
Dick: Okay. Here, uh, take this down. Uh, desperate, lonely white guy seeks acclaimed beauty queen. Runners-up need not apply.
Harry: You take the runners-up, just no "miss congeniality."
Tommy: Here. How about this? "If you believe in miracles, love at first sight, and breakfast in bed, contact me for adventures in truth."
Dick: [gasps] What a wonderful line! That's brilliant!