Dick: Um, I'd like to welcome you all here tonight. Before we go any further, I think that we should all acknowledge the sensational job that my esteemed colleague Dr. Mary Albright has done in organizing this truly worthwhile event. Dr. Albright. [applause] Don't you love Dr. Albright? I know I do. Now, I know many of you are wondering, what's with her long sleeves? Well, I'll tell you. It's to cover up her flabby arms. She shook them the other day, and the Dead Sea Scrolls fell out. [chuckles] She's, uh- She's quite old also, you see. But you know, as sweet and wonderful as Dr. Albright is, she can also be somewhat domineering, power-hungry and hostile, and I think I finally figured out why. Dr. Albright, while you may not have a man's genitalia, at least you have his razor stubble. Oh, oh, oh! Oh! And there's Nina. Nina is Dr. Albright's assistant. Nina, stand up, stand up. Come on, stand up. Show everybody how you put the "ass" in "assistant."