Mary: Listen to me, Dick. I have to have Cathy back! I went through seven maids before I found her!
Dick: Mary, at your house, Cathy was a maid. At our house, she is a member of the family.
Mary: She said that?
Dick: She doesn't have to. You can see the joy in her eyes as she trundles down the back stairs with a big bag of garbage. For the first time in her life, Cathy is happy.
Mary: You can't keep me away from her forever, Dick. I stole her from Judith, and I'll steal her from you!

Sally: What are you doing?
Dick: Arming you with the grime-busting power of bleach.
Harry: Look out, scum!
Sally: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This is not my problem anymore. I don't live here anymore. You guys are just going to have to learn to clean up after yourselves.
Dick: Uh, interesting theory.
Harry: Expand on that.
Dick: Can you scrub while you talk?

Sally: Dick, I don't live here anymore.
Harry: But we miss you.
Tommy: Yeah, why can't you just move back in?
Dick: Yeah.
Sally: Oh, come on, now. You're big boys. I know it's hard, but you're just gonna have to learn to live without me.
Dick: But what if we don't wanna?
Tommy: Yeah, I don't wanna. I don't wanna! [knocks garbage off table]
Dick: Will you at least clean that up?

Alissa: Well, there's always the school newspaper.
Tommy: Our school has a newspaper?
Alissa: Yeah. The Zephy. Uh, remember when the cafeteria flooded and they mopped it up with all those piles of paper?
Tommy: Yeah? Oh, that was the newspaper?
Alissa: Uh-huh.
Tommy: It's very absorbent.

Elman: Congratulations, Solomon.
Tommy: All right, great.
Elman: I know you're gonna take this paper places.
Tommy: Okay. Wait. You don't mean I'll be delivering it?
Elman: Nope.
Tommy: Good. 'Cause I don't have a bike.

Harry: Did she just dis us?
Dick: No. She's just jealous. And why wouldn't she be? Cathy has made this place sparkle. What happened to our plant?
Harry: Oh, it turns out that that was just an old potato.
Dick: Oh, she's wonderful.

Sally: Who are you?
Cathy: I'm Cathy.
Sally: Is this your doin'?
Cathy: Uh, yeah. I clean their house. Who are you?
Sally: I'm Sally. I used to have to do that.
Cathy: How much did they pay you?
Sally: They pay you?
Cathy: Yeah. Excuse me.
Sally: Wow. You're cleaning the oven? I didn't know you could clean the oven.
Cathy: Maybe that's why they got rid of you.

Mary: Dick, I'm concerned about Cathy. She didn't show up at my place. Do you know if she's sick?
Dick: She seemed fine when I left the house this morning.
Mary: Wait a minute. She was at your place?
Dick: Oh, yeah. I've hired her on full-time. She's indispensable.
Mary: What? You don't do that. Y-you don't steal somebody's maid.
Nina: You stole her from Judith.
Mary: I did not steal her. I lured her with money. Give me back my maid.
Dick: I'm sorry, Mary, but Cathy is not some product to be bought or sold on the open market. She is a living, breathing human being with feelings, thoughts, and emotions. You don't own her. I do.

Tommy: Look, Jerry, everybody knows Fred Waters' face cleared up. We can see that. I want to know why. And I want to know what Cindy fisher had to do with it. Now get out of here.
Elman: Hey, chief.
Tommy: How'd it go with Coach Strickland? Did he talk?
Elman: Aw, nah. He said, "Get out," and then he threw a croquet ball at my head.
Tommy: Good, good. He's scared. That means we're getting close to something. You go back and get that story.
Elman: I'll get a helmet.
Tommy: Good thinking, man.

Dick: You know what Cathy did today?
Harry: Put your socks in balls?
Dick: No, better. She folded my underwear.
Harry: Wow.
Dick: And I thought underwear was already as small as it could be. What's wrong, Tommy? Socks not in balls?