Mary: Oh, I take it you liked it.
Dick: Oh, no. It was god-awful. But I met a woman in line. A fabulous woman.
Mary: Oh! Well, that's nice, Dick.
Dick: Oh, I'll say. We had sex in my car.
Mary: You did what?!
Dick: I can't believe it either, but it was great.
Mary: Why are you telling me this?
Dick: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. It was casual sex. That's the great thing.
Mary: Oh, yes. Congratulations.
Dick: Yeah. You know, it all started with these Raisinets. I had them in my pocket- [bell rings] Oh, damn! I have a class. I'll tell you what. We'll have lunch, and I'll fill you guys in on all the sexy details, okay?

Dick: And that, of course, led to the big bang.
Pitman: And you just met in line at the theater? You rule!
Dick: It's pretty amazing.
Caryn: Dr. Solomon, um, I'm a little uncomfortable with this dialogue.
Dick: Oh, no, don't be. Just in wrapping up this section, I'd like to say that after such a wonderful night, for as long as I live, I'll never forget Anita.
Pitman: Anita!
Dick: Anita Palone.
Bug: Anita Palone? That's my mom's name.
Dick: No, this woman said that she was from Pittsburgh.
Bug: Oh, my mom lives in Pittsburgh, and she was visiting me this weekend.
Dick: Well, then it must be her! My god, Bug! How could you have been in my class for three years and never mentioned how incredibly hot your mom was?! Talk about coincidence!

Dick: Hi, Mary. Nina.
Nina: Hello, Mr. Goodbar.
Dick: [sing-song] I have news.
Nina: You nailed the scrubwoman in the broom closet.
Dick: No. No.

Dick: You remember my telling you about my one-night stand?
Mary: Rings a bell.
Dick: Turns out she's Bug's mother.
Mary: How did you find that out?
Dick: Oh, I was rhapsodizing about it in class. Once I told him her name, Bug guessed.

Sally: Okay, we can't panic. We cannot let that Viper slip away. This guy has to have a weakness. I mean...
Harry: I've got it! We can't win.
Sally: What?
Harry: We can't win. This is no ordinary guy. He's a soul sucker.
Tommy: Dear God. You're right. We've encountered his kind before. He's an evil force of nature. A black hole. He feeds on our desperation.
Sally: Tom, what are you saying?
Tommy: It just makes him stronger. There's only one thing we can do, Lieutenant. We've got to walk away.
Sally: No, no, no, no! I hate walking!
Tommy: We've got to!

Bill: Well, I made a friend cry. But the Nova's yours, Sally. Sally?
Sally: ... [pained] No.
Bill: Yes! You can drive her home today.
Sally: No.
Bill: Huh?
Sally: I said no.
Bill: Come on, Sally, I am ready to make this deal.
Sally: [laughs] No!
Bill: I'll throw in floor mats, fabric guard, and undercoating.
Sally: Okay, boys, step aside. You have taken the joyful experience of buying a car and turned it into something ugly! You know what you are, buddy? A car salesman. Yeah, that's right. A big steaming pile of car salesman! Well, you just lost yourself a sale! Come on, boys!

Dick: I've never seen you this concerned about other people before. Is this about you?
Mary: Yes, it's about me.
Dick: But, Mary, we're broken up. We have been for months.
Mary: I know, but there's still some stupid part of me that thought we might get back together.
Dick: I have that stupid part, too!
Mary: Forget it. We're not getting back together.
Dick: Why not?
Mary: 'Cause you ruined it.
Dick: Oh, I thought I'd already ruined everything I could possibly ruin!
Mary: Well, you missed a spot.
Dick: Oh, what was I thinking? Anita was a mistake. It was fun for a while, but then it was so empty. Not like with you. I'm sorry. Hugs?
Mary: Okay, but don't grind me.

Dick: I've learned a lot over the past few days, Bug, and I just want to say that I'm sorry for what I said about your mother. Also, I feel it only fair to give you the grade you deserve, which, as you probably know, is an "F."
Bug: Oh! Oh, first you and my mom, and now you're giving me an "F"? Oh, man. Oh, man!
Mr. Polone: Bug!
Bug: Dad. Frankie. Paulie.
Mr. Polone: Is this the illustrious Dr. Solomon?
Dick: Yes, that's me. And you are?
Mr. Polone: So angry!
Bug: Dad.
Mr. Polone: Shut up, son. I mean that in the most caring way.
Dick: I'm glad you're here, Mr. Palone. I was just telling bug how concerned I was about your ex-wife's lurid sexcapades.
Mr. Polone: Will you please stop talking about that? You'd think this was the first woman you ever had.
Dick: Well, not to brag, but actually, it's my second.
Mr. Polone: Oh, a ladies' man.
Frank: Big shot.
Paulie: Smooth talker.
Mr. Polone: You should be ashamed of yourself!
Dick: No, no, no. Hold on. I'm just trying to set my house in order. Now, granted, having sex with her in my car is fun-

Harry: Hey, groovy meat monocle.
Dick: Oh, thanks.
Sally: No more casual sex for you.
Dick: You know, there's no such thing as casual sex. It has all these repercussions.
Tommy: Well, maybe it wouldn't if you'd just shut up about it.
Dick: If I hadn't talked about it, I never would have found out something wonderful. That Mary still cares about me.
Tommy: Oh, like I said, you should have just shut up about it.

Woman: Excuse me, but is this the line for the 3:15 show?
Dick: Oh, no, no. N-no, you don't! I'm just here to see a movie. I'm not having sex with you! Please, just take some Raisinets and go. Leave me alone! Go on! Go on! That was a close one. Keep running, you vulgar slut!