Dick: No, it wasn't Mary. It was Anita Palone. A fabulous divorcee I met at the movies.
Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, a little casual sex.
Dick: Casual sex?
Mrs. Dubcek: Yeah, you know. A passionate tryst with a stranger.
Dick: Yes! Yes, that's exactly what I had. Casual sex.
Mrs. Dubcek: Wham bam, thank you, deliveryman.
Dick: Nothing could be sweeter than Anita in the theater.

Mary: Oh, you don't care whose feelings you hurt.
Dick: Like who?
Mary: Bug, for instance?
Dick: Oh, I didn't realize.
Mary: Of course you didn't.
Dick: Well, why are you so angry?
Mary: I'm not. As a matter of fact, I could care less what you do, you huge ass! You know, if I were the Dean, I'd slap you in the face. [slaps Dick in the face]
Dick: Hey, you're not the Dean!

Dick: What was that for?
Nina: You know, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who want loving, monogamous relationships and those who hop from bed to bed having meaningless sex!
Dick: Yes. I was the former, now I'm the latter. What's the big deal?
Nina: You know, if I were Dr. Albright, I'd slap you in the face. [slaps Dick in the face]
Dick: Hey, you're not Dr. Albright!

Dick: Ah! Looking for a little casual sex, eh?
Tommy: I would be happy to get to casual first base with this one.
Dick: Don't sweat it, Tommy. You'll get there. Of course, you might get slapped a couple of times in the process. But you will have a ball.
Tommy: Cool.
Dick: True, there's a chance that you'll lose a little self-respect, but it's a lot of fun.
Tommy: Sounds good.
Dick: That is, if you don't compare those few seedy moments with a relationship that once meant everything to you.
Tommy: Okay.
Dick: So if that sounds good go for it. [sobs]

Harry: Okay. I don't have a car, but I'm interested in your undercoating.

Mary: Good morning, Dick.
Dick: Oh. Hello, Mary.
Mary: Ah. Young love.
Dick: Yes. I didn't mean to stare at them, but they're really going at it.
Mary: They really are.
Dick: Hey, that fat guy's blocking our view! [opens window] Hey, chubby, keep it moving!
Mary: Oh, you scared them off.

Anita: You know, I've been waiting to see this movie for months.
Dick: Oh, really? I just got here. [woman laughs] So... Are you, uh German?
Anita: No... Are you trying to make conversation?
Dick: No... Yes.
Anita: Oh, love that. I'm Anita.
Dick: I'm Dick.
Anita: So since we're both alone, would you like to sit together?
Dick: Sit with you, together, us?
Anita: Yeah.
Dick: Well, sure. Oh, uh, F.Y.I. Raisinets on the right, Jujubes on the left. Reach in...

Sally: Must have Viper.
Tommy: Lieutenant, this is a mistake. We just need transportation. We're not entering the Daytona 500.
Sally: It was amazing. The power, the thrust! You should've driven it.
Harry: I tried to drive it and you bit my hand.

Tommy: Have you gone insane? We don't have $20,000.
Harry: Whoa. I have an idea. We can hold a raffle.
Sally: That's great. What would we raffle?
Harry: The Viper!

Tommy: Sally, that check is gonna bounce and they're gonna come after us.
Sally: Yes, but they'll never catch us in the Viper!
Bill: Okay. We ran your credit report. They say you don't exist.
Sally: Oh, that's weird. So can I take the car now?
Bill: No. My manager also told me you only have $1,300 in the bank.
Sally: Well, that is just not true. Who did he get that from?
Bill: The bank.
Sally: All right, Bill, what do I have to do to get this car?
Bill: Well, that's simple. Less money up front and a series of pickup payments, finance the back end against the deficit down lease. We'll launch fiscal payoff or simply spread the down across the term and use asset collateral.
Sally: Bill, what do I have to do to get this car?