Dick: Lieutenant, aren't you forgetting something?
Sally: You're right, the wedding announcement.
Dick: No, no. The mission.
Sally: Dick, this is my mission. It's what women are supposed to do. Get married, have babies, hire total strangers to raise them and then wonder where they went wrong.

Mary: Oh, Dick, you shouldn't be embarrassed. Michel's the one who got arrested.
Sally: They got Michel! [all gasp]
Mary: Yeah, the guy from immigration. It was an ugly fight. The French tend to kick a lot when frightened.
Dick: Immigration?
Mary: Yeah, they said they'll be sending him back to France in the morning.
Dick: Of course, he's from another country!
Sally: That's why he's an alien.
Tommy: Alien from France.
Harry: Not a quivering purple tube from a distant galaxy sent to study humankind. [Sally slaps the back of Harry's head] What? I said "not."

Dick: 44 across. "Men are from Mars, women are from..." Let's see, five letters starting with V. Ah! "Vegas."

Sally: [on the phone] [holds wedding cake topper] See, this is the third set of little people you've sent me, and once again they bear no resemblance to me or my future husband. Get it right!

All: You're what?!
Sally: I'm getting married.
Dick: Well, why are you doing this?
Sally: Two reasons, I'm a woman, and he asked me.

Dick: It happened so quickly. How did he know it was time to ask?
Sally: He's a man, men know these things.
Dick: But I'm a man. Am I missing something?
Tommy: You? Never.
Harry: No flies on you.
Sally: Dick, trust me, I know what I'm doing. Besides, I've dated more than any of you.
Harry: But by no stretch of the imagination have you been the most promiscuous.

Sally: Trust me, High Commander, Michel's a great guy. Plus he's loaded, look. He's giving me $5,000, he wants to marry me so badly. $2,000 upfront, the rest when the Deal's done.
Tommy: As a gift?
Dick: No no, Tommy this is what's known as a dowry. It's an old-world marriage custom and Michel is from there. Maybe if we hold out, he'll throw in a goat or two.

Sally: And the best part of everything is I get to have a wedding, you know? Big white dress, long veil, crappy band. Ah. It will be a day I'll always remember. Okay, there's work to be done! Harry, I want you to find me something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, go! Tommy, get me a deal on flowers!
Tommy: Flowers!
Sally: Dick, your job is to sit back and just get overwhelmed by the whole process, okay?

Harry: Sally! I got it, everything you asked for.
Sally: Oh, what a relief!
Harry: Something old: a radial, courtesy of the alley. Something new: a tub of Vaseline with an unbroken seal.
Sally: Sweet!
Harry: Something borrowed: a cup of sea salt from Miss Dubcek. And finally, the piece de "resistenance". Something blue: a Lifesaver! Minty. [holds tongue out]
Sally: That's perfect, Harry. [takes Lifesafer from Harry's mouth and sticks it to his forehead]

Sally: And you don't think I'm ready?
Mary: Well, I just think you should wait.
Sally: Until when I'm middle-aged and I have to walk out of the bedroom backwards so my husband won't see my wrinkly butt?
Mary: Oh, stop.
Dick: Mary! That's what you do!